Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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