I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
