Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
