ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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