yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize