Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
