i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Can i not drive my cunt home
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
