hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize