I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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