I just saw a hot homeless man
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's blow job season.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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