Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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