Ambien. No doubt about it.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
