My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
