So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
