oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
