i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
