I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
