just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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