Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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