She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
