I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
