I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
