I need to stop coming to work sober
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
