I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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