For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
