Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
