That's intense
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
