Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize