we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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