My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
