He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
