Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
