she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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