My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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