Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
