Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
