Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
