If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
