i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
