oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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