i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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