DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
