Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
