my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have fence marks all over my body
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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