what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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