We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
