Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
