A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
