She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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