I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
