she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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