I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
