What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
