I'm drive I can fine osifer
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
