You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
