you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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