I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize