a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Holy shit dude........stairs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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