Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize