there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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