And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you had me at cake vodka
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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