Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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