I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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