no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
