Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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