Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
