Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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