So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Randomize
