Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
