The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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